Power of Saying No, Selacia, 5 November 2015

Relationships IQ: The Power of Appropriately Expressing Your “No”
 
Since our current energies are repeatedly putting relationships in the spotlight, use this time to reflect on how you can develop more mastery consciously relating to others. Did you know that at any given moment with any key relationship, you are choosing how you respond to the other person? That might seem obvious. Continue reading, though, for the bigger picture of power dynamics in relationships.
 
Saying “Yes’ with Muteness
 
You can say “yes” to a dysfunctional relationship dynamic, keeping it going simply by being mute and going along with the status quo. Do not judge yourself but do look at your conditioning causing the muteness.

If you have learned to dislike confrontation – perhaps doubting you can express yourself in a heart-centered way and afraid of rejection – you may stay silent even when inside you are like a raging ball of fire about to explode.
 
Understanding Numbness
 
After a while, too, you can become numb. The numbness is not what you think, however, but a repressed set of unexpressed feelings and thoughts. Your wise inner self wants you to step into your power and find productive ways to confront nonworking status quo dynamics.
 
Saying “Yes” with Loud Outcry
 
You can say “yes” to continued discord with loud outcry too, participating in arguments that only reinforce old grudges and issues. If you are not calm and in your heart before heated dialogue, it will be quite challenging to find the right words at the right time and say them. And so the pain continues.
 
Everybody does this sometimes – it is part of human conditioning. Don’t judge yourself, but do take a look at this dynamic if it’s playing out in any current relationships.
 
Getting to “Yes” by Saying “No”
 
So many times, relationships become mired in repetitive dramas, unspoken feelings, and issues so secret that they become buried from clear view. Not all secrets are dramatic or shameful. Some are simply so hidden that both parties no longer access them consciously.
 
Example: A difficult exchange long ago could have been so hurtful to both people that neither wants to remember. We have selective memory after all, and a key way it surfaces is in relationships.
 
Secrets block the flow in relationships. They are like a poison, sitting there in the energy field between two people, becoming toxic over time. As you become more authentic and whole, a quality of openness develops and your relationships change to match the higher frequency.
 
The process of shifting your dance of relationships takes time, regular focus, and becoming skilled with new kinds of tools previous generations did not have. You are learning to approach things with new eyes, unlearning inherited ancestral patterns and clearing your own past life DNA conditioning.
 
What is that conditioning? In previous historical times, people often felt they had no choice about things. Oftentimes marriages were arranged and career paths were chosen based on family status. The notion of asking for something outside the norm, or simply asking a loved one for something one wanted, was sometimes taboo.
 
As you awaken to a more empowered way of being, you realize that you are at choice in each moment. Being mute is one choice. Doing nothing about crazy-making dynamics is another. Asking for what you want is a choice.
 
To get what you want, you often must say “no” to something too.
 
Example: when someone violates your boundaries. Indeed, your “no” in such cases – when exercised with love and compassion – is among your most powerful tools. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do when someone asks you to do something that oversteps your boundaries is to say “no.”
 
Relationships can be challenging but you as a divine changemaker are learning new more enlightened ways of being. Trust that you have abundant support from the universe in creating new types of relationships based on love.
 
Copyright 2015 by Selacia - author of Earth’s Pivotal Years, healer, and teacher * All Rights Reserved * www.Selacia.com * Feel free to share these articles with your friends and post to your blog or website as long as you include this copyright line and the full article text.